


stumbling blind

by Balthuza



Category: Shards of the Sun (D&D Campaign)
Genre: Gen, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, M/M, Nyctophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-08
Updated: 2018-12-08
Packaged: 2019-09-14 02:28:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16904361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Balthuza/pseuds/Balthuza
Summary: he knows he fucked up - the first step to get better is to admit it out loud





	1. Fyr

Nil remembers the ghost of his hand he saw in the darkness in nearly every nightmare he has. 

After he was locked up in the dark classroom, his family thinks that he fears the darkness. He does, of course, but it is not the same fear as the one which keeps him up at night, his eyes tightly shut and his ears covered with his hands. 

Back there he remembers the sounds and the touch, the weight of creatures that never existed. 

He remembers realizing, that even though there was no light at all, he could see a shadow of his hand, a ghost, darkness deeper than around it. 

He knew it was not possible. It always was the fear that his mind, his eyes, cannot be trusted that chills him to the bone. The fear that when all is said and done there is nothing to prove whether his senses are not lying to him. That if he ever goes insane - how can he tell the difference? 

 

Fyr’s hug is warm and welcome, but slightly unreal, and Nil has to give Leo a quick look to check if Fyr is truly there before he lets himself drown in it, in the nonsense Fyr is talking, and the vague hints of lavender that he is certain are not there at all. 

‘Hi Fyr. I fucked up. I'm sorry. I fucked up.’ 


	2. Leo

When he feels Leo's hands he grabs it like a lifeline and lets the words flow out of him. He knows that he's probably not making much sense, jumping over too many details, and he can't really look at them, concentrating on the lines on Leo’s skin. 

He knows he puts additional burdens on them when they have so many already, but he is afraid that he cannot carry it on his own. 

When he runs out of words, he feels lighter - or lightheaded at least, and he realizes he's been leaning on Leo for the last few minutes, and he picks himself up with a muttered ‘sorry’ and on an impulse he picks up Leo's hand, still stuck in his grasp, and places a soft kiss on it. 

‘Sorry. I know you have enough problems as it is, I just wanted you to know. Sorry.’ 

He draws w circle with his thumb on Leo’s hand and only when Leo tightens his fingers, Nil looks up. 


End file.
